WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a natural progression of world events, during the early hours of this morning, Fragile Male Ego (FME) was confirmed the winner of the 2024 US Presidential election. FME will be inaugurated as 47th President of the United States of America & Puerto Rico (POTUSPR) on January 20, 2025, after some form of power transition.
After years of captivating campaigning which left American audiences begging for more, We the People headed to the voting booths to decide between Kamala Harris, RFK Jr., Dr Jill Stein, or the triumphant return of the nation’s favorite. The battle for the moral high ground came to a conclusion with a divisive victory for FME.
At press time the candidates and their teams had made so many statements, our editorial team is still deciding which to run with. 
