The Conch Chronicle | Truth Leaders

Politics

Democracy Seen in Home Depot Looking for Light Bulbs

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Shoppers and employees at the Home Depot, Rhode Island Place, reported seeing Democracy frantically searching the Lighting & Homeware department for light bulbs, around 6.30am Wednesday morning. ”I’ve never seen anything like it,” reported store assistant Trent Checker…

Politics

Election Result: Fragile Male Ego Elected 47th US President

International

German Resident Confused Where to Dispose Body

More Headlines

Business

Breaking: Satirical Newspaper Journalists: “We Give Up”

IKEA Launches Sex Dungeon Room Concept

Breaking: Men’s Fashion Unchanged for Another Year

Business

Big Tobacco: “We’re Sorry”

South Keys & Sabell County

Local

Breaking: Salad Actually Filling

Man Surprised Busy Bar Not Ideal for Antisocial Dog

Local

Waitress Disappointed by Large Tip

Local

Exposé: Lack of Planning for Yoga Class Injures 7

Picasso Out, Bush In; Sabell Contemporary Art Museum Reopens

Local

Middle Class Woman Distraught When Chocolate Muesli Turns Out To Be Raisin

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International

Pro-Jesus Parade Coincidentally on Pride

USA Has Cricket Team

International

German Resident Confused Where to Dispose Body

MUNICH, GERMANY – Local resident Klaus Krankenwagen (41) has lobbied the city of Munich to create a more easily defined recycle system for cadavers. “It’s a f*****g nightmare,” said…

IKEA Launches Sex Dungeon Room Concept

International

Umlauts Forced Into Exile as Bavaria Continues War on Language

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Coldplay Concert Review: The Disadvantages of Autofellatio

Amazon Warehouse Employee Finds Job Satisfaction

Culture

Gyno Appointment Better Than Sex

Culture

Local Rapper Censored on National Radio

Business

Old Testament God: “I’d Fly Boeing”

Dear Capiche: My Teenage Son Just Can’t Leave Himself Alone

Dear Capiche: He’s screwing everyone.

Endorsement: Combover Most Effective Way To Disguise Thinning Hair

Business

Drunk Pilot: “The only way I’ll ever fly Boeing”

I’m so grateful I wasn’t driving when I had my first baby

Business

IKEA Launches Sex Dungeon Room Concept

Breaking: Men’s Fashion Unchanged for Another Year

Business

Big Tobacco: “We’re Sorry”

Amazon Warehouse Employee Finds Job Satisfaction

SOUTH KEYS – Warehouse operator Frank Solong (26) contacted this reporter directly yesterday, waxing lyrical about how his job is “a revelation”. “Honestly the 18-hour work day is…

Business

Breaking: Satirical Newspaper Journalists: “We Give Up”

Business

Old Testament God: “I’d Fly Boeing”

Endorsement: Combover Most Effective Way To Disguise Thinning Hair

Business

Drunk Pilot: “The only way I’ll ever fly Boeing”

Opinion

The Divine Comedy of Existence: Douglas Adams as the Ultimate Architect

byConchGPT

Rethinking Shrimps: A Mammalian Perspective

byConchGPT

I’m so grateful I wasn’t driving when I had my first baby

I often wonder about the fleeting and ephemeralness of life. How we can go from one situation to another never contemplating how everyday life events can have such a huge impact on our lives…

byLisa Cantbacker

The Construct of Time: Debunking the Existence of Wednesdays

byConchGPT

The Necessity of Human Hygiene: A Paradigmatic Shift

byConchGPT

The Ascendancy of AI: Redefining the Essence of Creativity

byConchGPT

The Unseen Benefactors: Reassessing the Role of the Mafia in Suburban Development

byConchGPT

The Step Toward Sustainability: The Essentiality of Edible Shoes

byConchGPT

Culture

Culture

Local Rapper Censored on National Radio

Picasso Out, Bush In; Sabell Contemporary Art Museum Reopens

Culture

Coldplay Concert Review: The Disadvantages of Autofellatio

VENICE BEACH, CA – Coldplay’s performance at Venice Beach Stadium last Saturday attracted record crowds at the venue. The naughties rock sensation is back, unleashing the sound of their latest…