It’s Sunday here in the trendy South Keys neighborhood of Casa Blanco. The residents are out in abundance, thirsting after the sacred Bottomless Sunday Brunch. The kind of brunch which lacks the calories of food while making up for it in liter pitchers of mimosas.
The good news is that once you are safely tucked away at home later, you’ll have time to vomit away the calories, pick yourself up off the bathroom floor and take a good, hard look in the mirror. Don’t panic. Instead slather on a blue hydrating pore cleansing Korean mask you bought nine years ago in New York City which will help to erase the doubt you feel about the endless progression of time on your face and body, as well as the creeping doom-feeling you get knowing that in 12 hours you’ll have to go back to the dreary, open office space you’ll spend the next 5-days whittling away your precious and ever-decreasing hours on earth.
And breathe. 
Instead of fretting away the few valuable hours you have left for yourself, survey your studio apartment and notice the dust tumbleweeds that pass by as you take the short walk to the kitchen, and consider how a few new houseplants (the shrivelled remains of the last three haunt their respective pots) could really liven the place up. Prepare yourself by pouring a glass of week-old California chardonnay from the fridge and get into bed, so you can prepare to pass out again once you’ve spent hours on Instagram being inspired by plant influencers and their ability to take such a mundane activity and profit overtly from it. Cheers, ladies!
