SOUTH KEYS – Confusion was prevalent on the streets of Sabell Country this week when resident Gary Lint (28), owner of Guppy the French Bulldog, shared the news that being a dog owner was harder than he expected.
Despite being accustomed to frequent daily walks around the neighborhood and keeping the streets clean by bagging up anything Guppy produced, Lint was not frequenting the bars and restaurants in the local area. Due to a recent breakup and other undisclosed disputes with his family, he admits to spending most of his time in parks and his apartment. “I just wasn’t getting out that much,” said the recent graduate of South Keys Business School.
However, one evening after taking a different route and walking past the popular Strip nightspot in South Keys, he decided to stop for a drink and to enjoy the exotic atmosphere. “There were some girls inside. It’d been a while since Katy left,” he said. Upon entering the busy bar, Guppy did as French Bulldogs do and stressed out, releasing a wave of gas into the stifled room, attracting disdain from nearby drinkers. Undeterred, Lint sat at the bar while his dog lay in the middle of the bar floor, causing several unobservant passersby to nearly fall over and down the nearby stairs to the private dance area. 
After almost an hour of tripping people and regular intestinal dysfunction, Lint and Guppy were politely asked to leave by a watery-eyed barman. Speaking to our reporter, bartender Clive Would (54) said, “There wasn’t any oxygen left. That damn animal cleared the bar three times.” Undeterred from the experience, Lint has vowed to return to the bar again saying, “I don’t understand why they made it so personal.”
